First, I shall tell you why I am super happy! Then I will get into why the frick I am super sad.
Oh and might I add that I did NOT even die once... seriously for me that is a huge feat.
I really was not expecting this, I mean do we ever really expect a drop when we kill anything that not's a 100% drop rate?... nah. I've killed so many Warbringers in Pandaland and I have gotten the Slate during MoP, now I just need the Jade, I will get it... hopefully soon. I really went to panda for Sha and Galleon kills, but decided to just fly and circle the island rather than using FP. I'm so glad I did. Not being lazy paid off last night. yay!!!
Alright now let's get into why, although it seems like things are going good, I'm somewhat depressed ingame. So much so that today is Sunday, I'm done with all my school homework, but I have not even logged on. I just don't really feel like it. When you have a moderately good IL and your class and spec is supposed to be crushing shit, and you've played this toon your whole WoW life... BUT you suck ass. It's super defeating. Look, people can only help me so far, and I need to take it the rest of the way. In the past, I've always played my own way, I think the only thing I really look at is what stats are the best. I usually can talent into what I feel will work best for me and I figure out my own rotation. And I used to always crush shit in dungeons and raids. Target dummys were always getting beat up by me because I was always focused on my damage, but to be honest I think I've only beat up on them like twice this expansion.
Like I said, people can only help me so far. I've been told suggestions to check out several sites and addons for help. I switched a couple talents and only a few covenant soulbind abilities, but with that, takes out some of my normal rotation Im comfortable with. It's like a baby learning how to walk... well maybe not THAT extreme, but you get the gist. I have not gotten used to it yet. I think I do need to give myself a break as I did just switch a couple days ago. And if you say "well you should be used your class and spec by now, you've played it forever!", I will slap the shit out of you. It just super depressed me that no matter how much my IL goes up, my lock abilities will still be shit. Oh yeah and I had to also be reminded about upgrading gear and the whole turning them into tier.. WHAAATTTT!!!?!?!? so fail.
Anyways hold the friggen phone! Yeah I should give myself a break. The last time I ran stuff, I was in a guild, I had several friends I played with on the regular, we ran things all the time, there was none of this keys/ M+ shit. Things were easy, I knew mechanics because we all got in vent and just had a good time. Mechanics are a huge problem for me currently, I know this. Almost to the point it makes me feel stupid when I am told what to do but I still don't execute it properly. A part of my pride dies everytime Deadskully eats shit and has to get res'd or release. I know because I'm so focused on not standing in shit, running away from something, or absorbing something I'm not even thinking about the boss that needs to be killed. Or if I'm killing stuff you can bet your sweet ass I am definitely standing in something or getting blasted in the face. Mechanics now give me anxiety just thinking about it. Volcanic, raging, bolstering, etc, what the fuck is thiiiis?!?!?! all that fuckin rubbish. Which is why, I should just accept the fact that I am and forever always will be just a Heroic Dungeon crawler. But I will be honest, my gear is too high for those now and I always top those meters unfairly. But I enjoy them, I get nothing from them besides gold. But I am ok with that.
If I want a challenge, I'd need to get my head out of my ass, stop crying and being a little baby bitch and just get better. Maybe someday, but I've always said I'd do that and still haven't. Maybe just stick to solo stuff... pets, mounts, achievements, mogs, alt levelling and my screenshots. It's what makes me happy... and sadly I am not at the moment.
